Comfort.

I've been dealing with some stressful situations lately, including trying to complete a sale on a house that I was afraid would never sell.  I'm definitely not a real estate person, and when offers fly back and forth and inspections have to happen and deals have to be made, I just find it to be frustrating more than fun.  Not to mention finding out that the tenants that were renting it from me did some very naughty things that we had to clean up, having to clean out the remaining junk that I had stored there, and freaking out about whether something was going to fall off the house before the sale goes through.  It's been tough and I've been needing some comfort.  Strangely enough, my first and most instinctual reaction was to go see my Father to get it.

 I've been dealing with some stressful situations lately, including trying to complete a sale on a house that I was afraid would never sell.  I'm definitely not a real estate person, and when offers fly back and forth and inspections have to happen and deals have to be made, I just find it to be frustrating more than fun.  Not to mention finding out that the tenants that were renting it from me did some very naughty things that we had to clean up, having to clean out the remaining junk that I had stored there, and freaking out about whether something was going to fall off the house before the sale goes through.  It's been tough and I've been needing some comfort.  Strangely enough, my first and most instinctual reaction was to go see my Father.

I say strangely because it's been a very long time since he could understand that I was having a problem, let alone be able to help me with it, but every now and then, I get the urge to lay my troubles before a parent for comfort and support.  Years ago, in a bad relationship, my boyfriend and I fought late at night and I was scared so I left the house.  Driving around in the dark, feeling horrible, wanting someone to comfort me, I almost drove up to the Assisted Living facility where Dad was living at the time, just to be with some sort of parent.  Unfortunately, this left me feeling more lonely than ever, but I remember being surprised by how deep the impulse to go to him felt.

As I've said before, I'm pretty used to being an orphan.  I'm accustomed to taking care of myself, and, of course, my husband takes care of me, too, but there are some things I guess you'll always want your mother or father to know about.  I went over to see Dad today, following that impulse to see and be seen.  I brought him a strawberry milkshake for Valentine's Day and sat with him for a little bit, and it was good.  He was kind of perky and he laughed a little with me and the caregiver who checked up on him.  Perhaps I could even have told him some of my woes; even without him being able to understand, talking might have made me feel better.  But it was good enough just to be there for a while.

You never completely lose that first instinct of childhood; that knowledge that your parents will take care of everything.  That all you have to do is make it into their presence and things will start to get better as you divulge your problems and wait for comfort.  My father will not take care of anything for me ever again - in fact, I'm the one taking care of him.  But it was definitely nice to be in his presence today - in the midst of my troubles - and even fairly comforting.