Friday, March 20, 2015

Gone Missing.

I always maintain how lucky I am in the care that Dad is receiving, how thorough and compassionate they are in looking after him and how safe I feel he is. There is not much to complain about in regards to the Adult Family Home where he lives. Something has happened a couple of times now, though, that is starting to bother me - something special has gone missing.

I hear so many stories from caregivers about items that go missing in facilities; things that range in value from money to jewelry to glasses to clothing. My friends' mother had her teeth go missing and also a pair of glasses. She's in a big nursing home, though, and in those places patients wander into rooms not their own and take things, or our loved ones hide things and can't remember where, or clothes get lost in the laundry. And, unfortunately, sometimes there's theft by staff.

It's fairly common in the bigger facilities and most books recommend not bringing anything to a facility that you're not willing to lose. It's still difficult and frustrating, however, to have things taken from our loved ones' rooms. Frustrating and sometimes expensive. I know this, and we were lucky when Dad was in a bigger facility that nothing more than maybe clothes got misdirected; Dad had no hearing aides or teeth to lose, either. What I'm finding hard is that it keeps happening here!

A few years ago it was a quilt I made that I put in Dad's room; it made me happy knowing it was there. One day, though, I stopped seeing it and when I asked, nobody could find it. Ultimately, the owner learned that one of his former caregivers had taken it but he couldn't get it back. This time it's something smaller and less valuable, but still frustrating. I had several books is poetry and essays in Dad's room that I use when I read to him, as well as a nice, old Bible I found. When they moved Dad into another room a few months ago, the books didn't show up in the new one.

I asked the owner about Dad's books and he spent some time looking for them but still hasn't found them. I know he feels bad but I'm still irritated. Now I have to buy some new books, and I'm a little upset about the nice old Bible, too. I guess I should be glad all the pictures in picture frames made it over but he only moved ten feet - how hard can it be to move everything?

 I'm definitely going to tell all future caregivers I talk to not bring anything valuable to a facility - monetary or sentimental. If something goes missing, speak up and try to find it, but be prepared for never seeing it again. I know it's only books, and I guess I've learned my lesson about bringing something I'd miss. I can't say I'm not a little angry though that they couldn't have taken better care. And I still haven't really gotten over the quilt.