Monday, July 30, 2012

Something in the Air?

My husband and I have experienced a variety of states, groups, people, and events due to the usual Summer stuff; travel, parties, car shows, time with friends, etc. Yesterday, after one such event, we looked at each other and realized that there was a similar thread that had been running through all of these last few months interactions. All summer, we've been talking to people that are experiencing issues related to family, involving: parent's dementia or other illness and the connected legal, caregiving, emotional issues; housing of elderly parents; death; or struggles with family over inheritance!

One of our extended family members has been struggling to take control over her very ill, yet controlling, Father's affairs. It's been months of trouble and heartache, time and energy. When we visited with her, she had just gotten a Power of Attorney, and later we heard her Father had been assigned to Hospice.

Running into a friend of my husband's, we learned he was in a prolonged and bitter struggle with a brother in regards to the inheritance and money left by the parents. The last parent had just died weeks before, the first within the last year. I could see the incipient tears well up as he talked about it - and I felt such empathy for him, although it was the first time we'd met. He wasn't even being given the time to grieve his losses; it would have to wait for the family struggle to end.

Just yesterday, we were talking to a member of our car club, a lovely woman, with whom I shared some of my work. She disclosed that her brother had taken over mother's house after her death the year before, and was being aggressive and controlling about emptying it out and resolving the inheritance. Adding to the difficulty, her mother's affairs had been left in some disarray, and it was unclear who was in charge. She said sadly that she only wanted her Mother's wishes honored, but was not confident that would happen.

All these stories in the air, these terribly difficult struggles... I know it's all a part of life but it seems to be getting more and more difficult for people. Difficulties that aren't helped by the growing prevalence of dementia, family emotions, controlling people, and unorganized affairs. Can't we all just get along?

While we were initially surprised at the commonality of experiences we were running into, I imagine we'll continue to hear these stories more and more. I'm going to make it my mission to find resources, help, support, and information to share everywhere; after all, we're all going to be in this together.


  1. Good for you. I think it's fantastic that you are making it a mission to find resources, help support, and information to share. I actually work with senior citizens every day, helping them cover the out of pocket gaps brought on by government Medicare. It is an extremely rewarding experience, but there is also a down side. I often hear these type of stories as well, and after so many times, it can really bring you down.

    I try and do whatever it is that I can to help my clients in any way possible. I think that they will find this information helpful and encouraging, so I will definitely be passing it along. Thanks again for sharing. You have an excellent blog!

    1. Thanks, Brian, I really appreciate your comments and that you stopped by! Please do pass my info along, it's an honor to help whoever I can. I'm going to check out your site and see if there's anything I can post that would be of help to my readers.