Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Well, my fiance and I are getting closer and closer to our wedding. Little details are being decided on, information being sent back and forth between us and the hotel where we are going to be married. I've had a dress fitting and we've found what my fiance is going to wear. Flight arrangements have been made and hotel rooms reserved. We're planning a very small, intimate wedding in a lovely tropical location, and I cannot wait; but it strikes me that absolutely no one from my blood family will be there with me.

For the most part, that's okay. The couple I have coming are like family to me and have been there for me through some of the hardest things I've faced in my life, including caring for Dad. And, of course, my fiance has become my family. Dad was present for my first wedding, a big traditional family affair where dad wore a tux(he looked great!) and walked me down the aisle. My mother died long before my wedding, so I've never gotten the delight of having a mother to plan a wedding with.

But still, Dad will not be attending-does not, in fact, even realize I'm getting married, and I'm mostly okay with that. When we got engaged, we visited Dad and told him, sitting on either side of him on the couch, my fiance's face engaging his attention. The other day when I visited Dad, I told him again, and while he didn't really understand, I did get a "well, that's just great." from him. The nicest thing, though, was when we took him for a ride in our car. As we were leaving, my fiance shook his hand, looked him right in the eye and told him that we were getting married, that he loved me, and that he was planning to take good care of me for the rest of our lives. Dad looked right at him, right into his eyes, and my fiance swears that he saw a glimmer of comprehension. It certainly brought a tear to my eye to see the two of them together; my fiance, tall and bright with life and my father, stooped and a little frail.

So, at least he knows. My fiance gave my dad the manly courtesy of a handshake and straight-talking, a kindness of heart that is partly why I love him. If he was ever worried about me, hopefully he knows in some corner of his mind that I will be okay. And as we stand together and speak our vows, Dad will be thousands of miles away, quietly wandering through his own mind. I will be happy and grateful at my good luck and fortune, but I will also be a little sad at that moment that neither of my parents are there.

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