Hospice

Sitting there in that quiet, darkened room, watching the tree branches through the window moving lazily in the breeze, listening to the hiss and gurgle of the oxygen machine, I pondered that question. If she died right now, or while I was there, how would I feel about that? Would it totally freak me out, or would I be fine? I'm no stranger to death, or even to seeing people die peacefully in front of me, but its been a while, and this was a stranger. I decided that I would be okay if she died, although I would prefer she didn't. I would be okay with seeing her leave this earth, witnessing her death, even though I would probably need a good big hug from my partner later. I was filled with a sense of quiet and peace as I sat there watching her breath, watching the trees, and I felt that spontaneous welling up of tears both happy and sad that tells me I'm in exactly the right place at the right time, doing exactly what I should be doing.