Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sitting there in that quiet, darkened room, watching the tree branches through the window moving lazily in the breeze, listening to the hiss and gurgle of the oxygen machine, I pondered that question. If she died right now, or while I was there, how would I feel about that? Would it totally freak me out, or would I be fine? I'm no stranger to death, or even to seeing people die peacefully in front of me, but its been a while, and this was a stranger. I decided that I would be okay if she died, although I would prefer she didn't. I would be okay with seeing her leave this earth, witnessing her death, even though I would probably need a good big hug from my partner later. I was filled with a sense of quiet and peace as I sat there watching her breath, watching the trees, and I felt that spontaneous welling up of tears both happy and sad that tells me I'm in exactly the right place at the right time, doing exactly what I should be doing.