Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Holiday Re-gift!

I'm re-posting a holiday favorite. Happy Holidays to you all and a very Happy New Year!


Over the holidays, I helped a caregiver with the type of problem that is unique to caregivers of people with dementia. I won’t mention her name but I asked her permission to write about it because I thought it was such a perfect example of how we can make our lives – and the lives of our care receivers – a little bit better.


This caregiver is caring for her mother, who has Lewy Body dementia and is currently on hospice care and getting more and more frail. She is still somewhat lucid and verbal, and enjoys spending time with family, and my friend. It being the holidays, my friend had lavishly decorated her home in the traditional manner, was baking and preparing holiday foods, and friends and family were stopping by and making plans. But she noticed that something about it being Christmas, which her mother was very aware of, was triggering her mother and was making her more and more agitated.


Her mother would ask after her own parents – where were they? Why weren’t they around for the holidays? She wouldn’t, or couldn’t, take in my friends reassurances and distractions. She would also ask after her husbands, both of whom were dead, and become sad and agitated. She would ask to bake or help decorate, which she was too frail to do. It was her surroundings that were causing her to remember what would normally happen during this time, and, of course, her disease was making it impossible to know why things were now different.


The idea popped into my head as my friend was talking, and I said, “Since it’s Christmas that is agitating her, maybe you should make her think that Christmas is over. Tell her it’s January!” We sat with this for a minute, and I could see her face at the thought of giving up her Christmas cheer and lights and loveliness. I suggested that since her mother isn’t very mobile, that maybe taking decorations only out of the places she would see might also work. My friend promised to go home and think about it. In the end, she did reduce the decorations and over-stimulating objects and events – at least where her mother could experience them – and it worked. There was much less agitation and upset and a lot more peace, and my friend still got some of her Christmas cheer.


It just made me think about being creative and using our imaginations to make things different for our care receivers. If your care receiver would be more comfortable with a different environment or slight changes in the structures around them, or even in thinking it’s a different holiday or season than it actually is – why not make it happen? Some facilities will paint the door out of the memory unit to match the wall, or make it look like something else because the sight of the door agitates people too much. There are all sorts of tricks and things to try that soothe and comfort and help the situation.


Think outside the box! Be a little crazy! Buck convention and don’t let anyone or anything tell you what “should be.” Pretend Christmas is over even though it is December 3rd, and take down the decorations! Have another family member bake the cookies and bring them over so the smell isn’t in the house. YOU still know what’s what but your care receiver will be more comfortable and less agitated, which will in turn make your life easier. Look around their environment today and think of ways to make it a better place to be.


17 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. I had to do this also- i realized the decorations at her place were more for me than her. they just caused her stress.

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  3. What a creative solution to a challenging situation!

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  5. This is my favorite post because I love holidays .holidays relax your mind and makes you more energetic. I love this post.

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  6. I suffered from this horrible syndrome (ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE)...and it was horrible...for the past 3 years this has taken over pretty much all of my walking moments along with other medical issues. My family/friends have been with me through it all. But Today I am pain free!! I can't even believe how this all happened...I am just as amazed as, my family/friends are...none of us can believe how long I suffered and now in literally a matter of months I am completely pain free.
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  7. For those people whose relative are suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease and maybe reading this, I find it hard that people are still ignorant of herbal medicine when it comes to treating Alzheimer’s Disease.
    I have been through many phases over the last couple of years since my father's diagnosis, he was 53 years old and had Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease and his diagnosis changed my life in many ways, I spend most of the time in denial and I keep thinking the tests were wrong. But deep down I knew they were correct. Though sharing his story is very difficult. He was always very successful in being able to accomplish anything he set his mind on doing. Alzheimer’s is a bitch of a disease. It began by robbing his recent memory, but it didn't stop there. It continues to steal, taking the most recent memories until it has pilfered all but the oldest memories, he experienced a decline in his ability to think, remember and make decisions. I feel a need to express my thoughts and feelings about how it affected his day to day living and how its deteriorated since despite the help of some wonderful medics and medicine.
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  12. I would be ungrateful if I decided not to share our success experience with ZOMO, I was a born caregiver, so it’s hard for me to look at my own needs as separate from my Dad’s needs. Most patients just need someone to hug them and tell them that they are not worthless, the treatment I tried not only worked but I believe cured him.

    He was diagnosed in 2011. I took Dad to the GP after noticing that he had become increasingly forgetful and vague. The clear sign that something was wrong came when he drove his car to the local shops (a five minute drive), bought his shopping, then walked back home, forgetting the car was parked outside the shop. The next day he rang me to say the car had been stolen. He had no recollection of leaving it behind. After a week he began to repeat himself and ask the same questions. He would struggle to remember conversations that had only occurred five minutes earlier.

    His situation was very complicated. I understand how one feel as a daughter and once caregiver, memory loss is so much more complicated. Many have been conditioned to think that traditional medicine has not found a cure for a disease. ZOMO have challenged this train of my thought. When he was ill, it was a tragedy, I endured, I was broken, I knew hardship, I was lost. But here I stand and I can tell you unequivocally that my Dad is cured. It is those of us who have been broken that understand the meaning of memory loss. As I look at the past and start writing this, tears of joy overwhelm me. I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better. It was one of my most difficult jobs and one that I poured my heart and soul into daily. Taking into account how well my Dad progressed in that space of time and now. There is no more memory loss symptoms for more than 6months now. The thing is, I get peace of mind when Dad is well taken care of: when he’s happy, I’m happy. Right now, it’s all about him…I always enter into his world so we can manage life together. We wake up every morning with a smile and we look forward to what the new day will bring. Reach out to him at charantova@gmail.com

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